Babaji Ka Thullu ...

Kongress Bureau of Interloping (KBI)

Highly Confidential                For your eyes only

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Location: Somewhere in rural Maharashtra

Time: 11:42 am

Meeting Attendees:

1. 1  AK420 aka Mr. Turncoat aka Mr. Muffler
2. 2  Baba Harare aka Baba Confused aka Baba Hunger Strike

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- Begin Transcript -

AK420: Pranaam Babaji.

Baba Harare: Oh! It's good to see you. How are you? What brings you to my humble abode?

AK420: Babaji I am not well, so I decided to come over for your blessings and advice.

Baba Harare: My blessings are always there with you, but advice I will not give. You don’t heed to my advice.

AK420: Babaji I always listen to your advice.

Baba Harare: No you don’t, I told you not to jump into politics and you did not listen to me then.

AK420: Babaji I wanted to listen to you, but you know I was forced into it by the Khaas Aadmis of the Kangress.

Baba Harare: So then you should follow the advice of the Khaas Aadmis. Why have you come to me and by the way what happened to your face?

AK420: Babaji if I listen to those Khaas Aadmi I will get beaten up everyday. See my face it is all bruised and battered because of the advice given to me by those Khaas Aadmis.

Baba Harare: I am so sad. I can only pray for you. I will give you any advice. I am sorry.

AK420: Please, you are my last hope, please help me.

Baba Harare: Hmmmm ... tell me what is happening and I will see if I can help.

AK420: You know that I got into politics and we won the elections in Delhi but we did not get majority there …

Baba Harare: Skip that part, I know that story.

AK420: Well I went back to the Khaas Aadmis of the Kangress Party and told them I needed their support me to form the Government.

Baba Harare: You went to them or they came to you?

AK420: Does it matter, we and the Khaas Aadmis were all together at that time.

Baba Harare: You mean you have split from them now?

AK420: I am contemplating that, every advice given by them to me is proving expensive.

Baba Harare: I had told you at that time, but you wanted to become the CM.

AK420: Babaji I know, I may have made a mistake, I need your help to get out of this mess now.

Baba Harare: Continue …

AK420: So with the Kangress support I formed the Government in Delhi and things were just going fine till the Khaas Aadmis from the Party told me that I needed to resign from the Government.

Baba Harare: Why?

AK420: The Queen of the Khaas Aadmis was worried that Mr. Namo would win the general elections. She wanted me to dump Delhi and start a national divide and rule strategy, the same as what we did in Delhi.

Baba Harare: So what did you do?

AK420: I did some drama on the Jan Lokpal Bill in the Delhi Assembly created a constitutional crisis there and then resigned and told the people of Delhi that I was thrown out of power. The Queen was very happy. She called me personally and told me to launch a national campaign.

Baba Harare: Hmmm … Hmmm …

AK420: What?

Baba Harare: The people of Delhi would have been very angry with you.

AK420: At first they were not, they thought I had done the right thing. Then later they began to realize that they were being fooled.

Baba Harare: But you gave them free water and electricity …

AK420: Free water? Oh! But Delhi has no water, so free or paid it doesn't matter and electricity crisis is looming ahead this summer, so free electricity also doesn't matter. Sadly people have realized this very quickly.

Baba Harare: So what is the issue, the Aam Aadmi is used being duped.

AK420: Babaji the Aam Aadmi is now very very angry with me. Every time I go out in Delhi I get slapped by the Aam Aadmi.

Baba Harare: I don’t like physical violence. But sometimes it is necessary. I also thrash the local drunkards sometimes.

AK420: Babaji I cannot take it anymore, I cannot bear getting slapped everyday.

Baba Harare: So ask the Khaas Aadmis to give you security

AK420: I cannot, remember I told the Aam Aadmi that I will not take security. So I cannot ask for it now.

Baba Harare: So what do you want me to do? I cannot become your bodyguard.

AK420: No, I don’t want you to be my bodyguard; I need your help to fool the Aam Aadmi for a few more days till the general elections. That way I will not keep getting beaten up everyday.

Baba Harare: You want me to campaign for you? You want my support?

AK420: Yes Babaji, if you show your support to me, I will be able to confuse the Aam Aadmis for some more time.

Baba Harare: But that will not help you win a lot of seats in the elections.

AK420: I know I won’t win the election; our idea is to create more confusion and make it difficult for Mr. Namo to win this election.

Baba Harare: I don’t understand.

AK420: The Queen wants me to create roadblocks for Mr. Namo.

Baba Harare: How will that help?

AK420: If Mr. Namo wins less seats, then he will need help from smaller parties to form the Government. Then the Queen will be able to dictate terms and not let Mr. Namo work properly. That will ensure that the Kangress comes back to power in the 2019 general elections.

Baba Harare: But how do you gain from this?

AK420: Hush! I cannot tell you all that.

Baba Harare: Hmmm ... I cannot help you.

AK420: Why Babaji, I desperately need your help.

Baba Harare: I have already pledged my support to Didigiri. I have said she will be the best PM for this country.

AK420: But Didigiri is nowhere in the picture. Her rally in Delhi for you also flopped badly.

Baba Harare: I know when I heard there were just a few people at the rally I decided not to go there for the rally. Didigiri was very upset with me.

AK420: But if you support me I promise you I will hold very large rallies for you.

Baba Harare: How Large?

AK420: Lakhs of people will be there

Baba Harare: Media?

AK420: They will all be there. It will be like the old days. You and I and lakhs of people … the entire media covering us.

Baba Harare: Yes we had some good time in the past.

AK420: Yes that is why I am asking you to support me and campaign for me. I will not have to do drama everyday to remain in the news. Babaji you and I together are the news.

Baba Harare: But what will be the agenda for the campaign.

AK420: Stop Mr. Namo.

Baba Harare: Just that? No other agenda?

AK420: Not needed, only one point agenda now. We have to stay focused.

Baba Harare: What will you say against him?

AK420: I have already toured his state. I will tell the people along with you that Mr. Namo is a Pheku. There is no development in his state.

Baba Harare: That will be a lie. I have been to his state; there is a lot of development there.

AK420: Babaji when you and I will say that there is no development, everyone will believe us. The media needs masala. The media will also play it up.

Baba Harare: But that will not be the truth.

AK420: It does not matter; Mr. Namo must be stopped at any cost.

Baba Harare: But if people don’t believe us, what will we do?

AK420: Why will they not believe you Babaji?

Baba Harare: I am confused, I don’t know what to say and do.

AK420: Babaji please I need your help. From tomorrow I will be camping in Varanasi and fighting against Mr. Namo.

Baba Harare: But will that be correct. I mean you fighting directly against Mr. Namo.

AK420: I must stop him at any cost. The Queen wants me to keep him distracted and engaged so that he cannot campaign in other parts of the country properly.

Baba Harare: But the Aam Aadmi will say you are fighting against Mr. Namo and not against the Queen and her son. That will not look good.

AK420: But I am putting up candidates against them also. They are very weak candidates, but they will be contesting against the Queen and her son. I will say we are fighting against them all. But Mr. Namo is the main focus. He must be stopped.

Baba Harare: And what do I get from all this?

AK420: What do you want Babaji? Name it I will make that available.

Baba Harare: I don’t want money. You know I don’t like money. I want to be back in the news. I want the Bharat Ratna.

AK420: Putting you back in the news will not be a problem. Bharat Ratna I cannot guarantee. You see Mr. Namo will become the PM. So for the next five years I don’t think I will be able to push for your Bharat Ratna.

Baba Harare: If you cannot get me the Bharat Ratna then why should I support you?

AK420: Babaji I can get you anything but that.

Baba Harare: I just want that. I don’t need anything else.

AK420: Let me make a call and see if that can be done.

AK420 (on phone): Hello! Yes … Yes … Its me your highness ... Yes … I am with him … Yes I have told him everything … He  is willing to support … Yes but he wants the Bharat Ratna in return … Yes I have told him that … I know I know … Ab ki baar Namo Sarkar … No … No … No … I will tell him … bye

AK420: Babaji it cannot be done.

Baba Harare: Then I cannot support you.

AK420: Please reconsider.

Baba Harare: No I will not.

AK420: Alright, I will then go now.

Baba Harare: Alright, wishing you the best. But you know what you are doing is wrong. My advice to you will be not to do this. The Aam Aadmi is slapping you now. After the elections they will start kicking you.

AK420: Babaji you said that you will not advice me.

Baba Harare: Yes I did, but I still gave you my advice for free.

AK420: @#$% you advice. I don’t need it.

Baba Harare: I hope you get kicked at every election rally from now on … get out … get lost!!

AK420: @#$@%%@ … wants a Bharat Ratna …

- End Transcript –

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KBI Analyst Conclusion:

AK420 and Baba Harare have not been able to patch up and will not work together this general election.

Baba Harare has declared that he will not make any of his trademark foot-in-the-mouth comments till these elections are over and he will also keep his distance from Didigiri as he fears that he might get slapped by her.

AK420 will need more material to create drama and be in the news to counter Mr. Namo.

Situation looks very bleak. Need urgent advice on how to tackle this.

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Another day and another headline

“People we need to do something today, our media bytes are down by 27%” said a worried looking former psephologist turned politician. “We need a to make a big splash, the media has enough content courtesy the elections and other issues”

Everyone in the room was intently looking at the former IBN7 anchor turned politician, “What? I just read from the teleprompter. I did not create the news. You need to tell me what has to be done; I’ll make a nice press brief”

The former Star News anchor turned politician looked aghast, “If you did not create news how did you get so much content when you were with the channel?” she was always hard pressed for content and knew that the former IBN7 anchor-politician was fibbing

“Where is the boss?” asked the psephologist-politician

“He said he is going to Sarojini Nagar, said something about buying some mufflers to match the colour of his sweaters” the former Star New anchor-politician replied with pride, “I spoke to him about being colour coordinated; it looks so much better on TV”

“We don’t have time to wait for him, we need to make breaking news in the next hour or else the primetime news anchors will have lined up the stories for the day” the worried psephologist-politician said in his trade mark gently patronizing monotone. “You people must understand every minute on primetime TV is equals to one lakh votes”

“@$#@!#@, speak louder I can barely hear what you are mumbling” thundered the ex-spammer turned convicted lawyer turned politician promoted to minister cum late night vigilante

“No profanities please, There are women in the room” said the former IBN7 anchor-politician in disgust

The psephologist-politician looked rattled, “Please … please, we need think and make some breaking news, let us not fight and the boss is not here so all the more reason we need to think and come up with some ideas”

The comedian turned poet turned politician walked into the room “I am back”

The Maoist lawyer turned politician looked on angrily “Why are you back? You need to be in Amethi, you are not needed here”

“I was getting bored, the Shehazada is also not there at Amethi … no fun at all being in that hell hole” replied the defensive looking comic-poet-politician

“Please we need some breaking news event” the frustration in the voice of the psephologist-politician was barely concealed

“O teri‼! … @%@#@$, I have a @%@$#@$ idea” the spammer-ex lawyer-vigilante jumped with joy “I can lead another raid on the Africans … this time in broad daylight”

“No!” chorused the other

“I can draw up a list of another 20 names and we can accuse them of being corrupt” the Maoist lawyer-politician suggested

“No! That is too risky, the TV anchors will ask for proof” reasoned the former IBN7 anchor-politician

“We can declare 100% free electricity for those who did not pay their bills” suggested the former Star News anchor-politician

“We resigned from the Government” psephologist-politician muttered “remember that”

“So what … we can ask people not to pay their bill again and promise them 100% waiver when we win the elections again in Delhi and come back to power” reasoned the former Star News anchor-politician, she could see herself winning the next round of elections with this as a election promise

“No! It won’t work, the common people of Delhi will see through the gimmick” comic-poet-politician thundered “and if we do it then we will also have to do it for Amethi”

“Is there electricity available in Amethi?” wondered the former IBN7 anchor-politician

“I don’t think we will come back to power in Delhi if we don’t have a breaking news item in the next 5 minutes” replied the Maoist lawyer-politician

“I know it … we can do another Mukesh Ambani type news and accuse Ratan Tata of looting the country” said an inspired former IBN7 anchor-politician

“Ratan Tata? You mean the Ratan Tata, he has retired” wondered the former Star News anchor-politician

“Yes the very same, steel prices went up by 100% over the last decade, he must have made a fortune” excitement in the voice of the former IBN7 anchor-politician was barely controlled

“The public is not @&@^%, they won’t buy it” sneered the spammer-ex lawyer-vigilante

“Mind your language” the Maoist lawyer-politician was getting angry “I told you there are women here … and no Ratan Tata cannot be done … its too risky”

The Boss walked in “Ah! I can see my team is hard at work. What is the discussion all about?”

“That is a lovely muffler you are wearing, it matches your sweater and your chappals” the former Star News anchor-politician was very excited

“Thank you” the Boss was a bit embarrassed, but she was right, looking good on TV was very important

“We need to make a breaking news in the next 3 minutes, our news bytes are down by 27%” the psephologist-politician was almost in tears

“God! We must do something, we cannot be relegated to page 3, we must be on page 1 and on primetime TV” the Boss understood the issue immediately and decided that he must find a solution in the next 3 minutes

“Boss why don’t you sit on a dharna at India Gate once more, jam up the traffic and create chaos” suggested the comic-poet-politician

“No … No … I am not doing that again … last time I almost froze to death, even my muffler could not keep me warm and moreover there is no issue to pick up, last time we could put pressure by threatening to disrupt the Republic day. There is nothing happening now” the Boss was panicking, he just did not want to sleep on the footpath once more

“So what do we do?” wondered the Maoist lawyer-politician. He would have loved to see the Boss sleeping on the footpath, perhaps even catching pneumonia and die. That way they could declare him a shaheed and win the elections with sympathy votes

“Let’s accuse Modi and Rahul of being corrupt” suggested the Boss

“How do we prove that?” asked the Maoist lawyer-politician “We don’t have any proof against Modi and Rahul is a very old and stale story, he is a dead beat anyway, I don’t think the public cares if we call him corrupt. And anyway Modi and Rahul are tearing into each other. How do we crash their party?”

“You are right” the boss was getting worried “That won’t work out, Modi we have nothing to go with and Rahul is a nobody”

“Why don’t we link Mukesh Ambani with Modi and Rahul” suggested the former IBN7 anchor-politician “I saw a picture of Mukesh Ambani hugging Modi and another where he was shaking hands with Rahul. We can make a press release saying Mukesh Ambani, Modi and Rahul are all looting the country together and paste these pictures there for everyone to see”

“That could work” psephologist-politician could finally see light at the end of the tunnel

“I know, I will write a letter to Modi and Rahul right now and ask them about their stand on Mukesh Ambani. We can release that letter to the media and at the same time tell the media that Modi and Rahul have not cared to reply so they too are looting the country with Mukesh Ambani … that would be brilliant … just like joining the dots to make a picture” the Boss was very satisfied

“Superb! I will compose a poem for your press conference” the comic-poet-politician was very excited

“What are you doing here in Delhi, go back to Amethi right now” thundered the Boss

“Hey! I need a break from Amethi and l will go once I compose the poem” replied the comic-poet-politician

“I don’t need your poem, just go. Call the press conference immediately, tell the press that we have proof that Mukesh Ambani, Modi and Rahul are all looting the country jointly” the boss directed to the former IBN7 anchor-politician

“But your letter to Modi and Rahul?” the former IBN7 anchor-politician wondered

“I can write it only my way to the press conference venue in my blue Wagon R car” the Boss was just salivating on the prospect of holding this press conference, he could see primetime headlines

“Let’s go … come on everyone let’s move … lots to do and so little time” the psephologist-politician began usher out the others to prepare for the news conference

Another day and another headline done …

Commonsense and Nonsense ...

Late night on 14^th February an activist friend of mine called me from Delhi …

Friend: “You must be happy to see Kejriwal Government fall?”

Me: “How are you? … hmmm … at least the daily dose of drama will subside …”

Friend: “You just hate him without logic … he has principles … he chose not to bow down before Ambani”

Me: “Ambani? What did Ambani have to do with the drama in the Delhi Assembly?”

Friend: (getting agitated) “Mukesh Ambani paid money to your BJP and those Congress goons to bring down the Government … come on you should know about this, you stay in Mumbai”

Me: “Mukesh Ambani paid money to my BJP?”

Friend: (getting even more agitated) “YES! Truckloads of cash moved from Mumbai to Delhi to pay off the BJP and Congress goons … did you not hear of it”

Me: “No I haven’t and Mukesh Ambani certainly doesn’t tell me about such things …”

Friend: “All you corporate types are the same, you are all ganging up”

Me: “Who are ganging up and against whom?”

Friend: (almost hysterical) “Corporate India and likes of you are ganging up to bring down the AAP Government”

Me: “I thought you just told me it was Mukesh Ambani who conspired to bring down the AAP Government, now you are telling me it’s a conspiracy hatched by the entire Corporate India … why would we want to do that?”

Friend: “Don’t be coy … you know it better than me. Mukesh Ambani is running scared because Arvind exposed him and the FIR was filed against him”

Me: “Listen … you need to get a few facts correct …”

Friend: (angrily) “You get your facts correct …”

Me: “OK … OK … but let me at least clarify a few things with you …”

Friend: “Hmmm … but it’s a shame that people like you are so blinded and don’t see the truth”

Me: “Please listen to me … Please … Please … Kejriwal was not thrown out … he resigned … right”

Friend: “It’s as good as being thrown out … he resigned when the Jan Lokpal bill was defeated in the assembly. Your BJP and those Congress Goons ganged up and defeated the bill”

Me: “MY BJP? It’s not my BJP … and the bill was never tabled in the house … the BJP and Congress voted to get the bill ratified first by the Lt. Governor, they voted on the Lt. Governor’s letter to the assembly … so how could be bill be tabled … you can’t do it … it’s illegal”

Friend: “Jan Lokpal is legal … and it was tabled”

Me: “That would be for the courts to decide … and the bill was not tabled”

Friend: “But Kejriwal told us the bill was defeated by the BJP and Congress”

Me: “How could it be defeated if it was not even placed before the assembly correctly and anyway the BJP and Congress told Kejriwal to follow the procedure and table the bill in the house. They both made public commitments to get it passed. They will commit political suicide if they don’t support the Jan Lokpal bill”

Friend: “But Kejriwal said …”

Me: “Get your facts correct … Kejriwal did not get the bill tabled properly in the house, no voting was done on the Jan Lokpal, the BJP and Congress told him to get the bill tabled properly which could have been done within a week. But he chose not to … do you know why?”

Friend: (again getting agitated) “Since you know so much … why don’t you tell me?”

Me: “Kejriwal never wanted the bill passed … if he had got the bill passed he would have nothing left to create more drama with … right … and the BJP and Congress would say they passed the bill … Kejriwal is a minority Govenrment … right … the BJP and Congress would also take the credit for passing the Jan Lokpal bill … right”

Friend: “But he told us that the bill was defeated …”

Me: “Read the house proceedings tomorrow and you will know the bill was not even voted on … how could it be defeated … right … and can you please tell me why your Kejriwal did not follow the constitutional rules if he was so serious about getting the Jan Lokpal bill passed?”

Friend: “Kejriwal said he did not have to take the Central Government’s permission to table the bill … even Soli Sorabjee said the same thing …”

Me: “Listen … read between the action and the intent … he knows that if he had followed the rules in tabling the bill properly, the BJP and Congress would pass the bill … right … right?”

Friend: “Right …”

Me: “After that what? What drama material would he be left with?”

Friend: “After passing the bill the Jan Lokpal would get formed …”

Me: “Exactly … do you think the Jan Lokpal bill would end corruption overnight?”

Friend: “Jan Lokpal can put people in Jail for being corrupt … it will frighten the corrupt people …”

Me: “Jan Lokpal will be a an investigating agency with lots of powers, only the courts can put people in jail and that too under existing laws … the Jan Lokpal cannot … how can you be so naive?”

Friend: (getting angry) “I haven’t read the Jan Lokpal bill …”

Me: “Then what are you fighting for? You haven’t even read it … has anyone in you circle read the Jan Lokpal Bill?”

Friend: “No … I don’t Know … but Kejriwal has told us that the Jan Lokpal bill will put all the corrupt behind bars …”

Me: “How do you know who is corrupt? Someone has to complain and then someone has to investigate … right … then file a FIR … then fight a court case and convict the person … right … and then send that person to prison … how can the Jan Lokpal send someone to prison directly?”

Friend: “You are confusing me …”

Me: “Hello! I am trying to unconfuse you … please read the bill understand the provisions and then jump to conclusions … none of you seem to have read the bill or understood the bill and yet you all are jumping up and down about this bill”

Friend: “Kejriwal told us that the Jan Lokpal will solve the issues …”

Me: “You said the Jan Lokpal will frighten people and prevent corruption … right … right … imagine a situation where I can tomorrow stand up and accuse anyone in the Government of being corrupt and that person will be investigated … put under suspension … and God knows what else … what if the person was not corrupt and was not listening to something which I wanted done wrongly?”

Friend: “You would be put in jail and not that person …”

Me: “Really … do you think so … the lynch mob would have slaughtered that Government official who has been falsely accused …”

Friend: “But the person will get a fair trial”

Me: “Right … but till then what would happen to that person? And do you think the Government officials will take any decision or do any work when the Jan Lokpal is breathing down their necks … as it is they don’t work … when this happens these same officials will bring out all kinds of bureaucratic nonsense to not do any work … who do you think will suffer?”

Friend: “We will …”

Me: “So what will you have achieved?”

Friend: (getting very angry once more) “Don’t twist the issue … your debating talent will not fool me … What about Mukesh Ambani?”

Me: “What about Ambani? What has he got to do with the Jan Lokpal and the Kejriwal Government resigning?”

Friend: “He made sure that Kejriwal Government fell the moment the Gas FIR was filed”

Me: “Actually it is that FIR which is full of gas … please … please … remember Kejriwal RESIGNED, his Government was not brought down by the opposition or Ambani, he had the Congress support in the assembly which made him a majority Government … Kejriwal resigned … RESIGNED”

Friend: (angry) “Resigned … I know … don’t repeat … it’s the same, his Government was made to fall”

Me: “Resigned … he chose to get out of Governance and when you choose something it is always planned … right?”

Friend: “No … he was forced”

Me: “Who forced him to resign? The Congress did not withdraw support from him … who forced him?”

Friend: “Mukesh Ambani forced him”

Me: “Ambani forced him? How?”

Friend: “I don’t know Yogendra and Ashutosh told us”

Me: “How did Ambani force Kejriwal to resign … he could only force Kejriwal to resign if Ambani had some leverage on Kejriwal … which means Kejriwal must have done something wrong in the past which could get exposed or else how could Ambani get enough leverage to get him to resign?”

Friend: “Kejriwal is clean … don’t accuse him of any wrong doings when there is no proof against him … he is a good man”

Me: “I did not say he was bad … maybe loony and too smart with a hidden agenda, but I never said he was bad or corrupt … there is no proof against him … innocent till proven guilty … right … right?”

Friend: “Yes … right”

Me: “Then tell me how did Kejriwal, Ashutosh and Yogendra come up with the list of corrupt people without and proof”

Friend: “They will give the proof”

Me: “When … accuse someone and then run away when the proof is asked for … you can’t do that … or can you?”

Friend: “Mukesh Ambani is looting the country”

Me: “You have proof?”

Friend: “His wealth grew 300 times in the last 10 years”

Me: “Yes … so did many more people I know of … in fact lots of people made lots of money”

Friend: “But he is looting the country with this KG Basin gas thing”

Me: “How?”

Friend: “Gas prices will double from Rs. 4 to Rs. 8 from 1^st April”

Me: “So file a case against it in the courts”

Friend: “Ashutosh said that the courts too are sold out to Ambani, no justice will happen there”

Me: “Hmmm … are you sure … at least you can get the courts to stay the price hike till the matter is resolved”

Friend: “There is a case already filed in the court”

Me: “So then fight the case if you think it’s wrong”

Friend: “Kejriwal told us that Ambani will make 56,000 crore profit from this”

Me: “How did he come to that conclusion, is there some place in the public domain where he has put up these facts and calculations”

Friend: “It’s there on the AAP website”

Me: “I have read it … it just ranting and propaganda … not facts or figures”

Friend: “But Ambani is looting the country”

Me: “You know the Gas price is fixed by a tribunal … right … and Ambani only produce and sell 15% of India’s gas … rest of it is produced by ONGC, GAIL and other PSUs”

Friend: “I did not know that”

Me: “Did not know what?”

Friend: “85% of the gas is PSU owned”

Me: “Kejriwal did not tell you that?”

Friend: “No he did not”

Me: “Which means logically if Ambani makes 56,000 crores after the hike, the PSUs would make 375,000 crores in profit”

Friend: “Wow!”

Me: “So who makes more money in this case?”

Friend: “PSUs”

Me: “So why does the FIR on gas not name the PSU directors and the chairmen? They are equally guilty of this loot … right … right?”

Friend: “So what are you doing on Valentines?”

Me: “Nothing much … how about you?”

Friend: “Going home and then going out to dinner with my husband … chal … nice speaking to you … you stop hating Kejriwal and your Namo will not be the PM …”

Me: “My Namo?”

BEEP! BEEP! …

The Real AAP Agenda ...

Time and again history has shown to us that the masses can be easily misled. All you need is a good marketing campaign, a likeable face and most importantly a dysfunctional governance setup.

Since 1947 Indians have only been subject to treachery and deceit from the dominant political establishment - the "Dynasty" led Congress party. The Rajwadas and the Raj got replaced with a proxy feudal dynasty.

This proxy dynasty ensured complete and total capitulation of democratic values. A simple tried and tested formula of “divide and rule and if you can’t rule don’t let anyone else rule” was implemented by them. A casual reading of the history of modern India shows how the dynasty and the Congress party sabotaged alternative political formations.

The powder keg:

Resultant to this has been the massive loot of our wealth, aspirations and dignity. 67 years of treachery has lead to total breakdown of the moral compass of the society and has created a completely dysfunctional governance setup. Corruption and crime are the end result of the decay in the moral fabric of the society. This deadly concoction is an exact replica of the situation which existed in Germany during the period from 1925 to 1933, the pre Nazi Germany era. This is the ideal launch platform for a “common man” to don the mantel of the “Führer”.

Déjà Vu:

The Aam Aadmi Party (The common man’s party) AAP is structured and replicated exactly on the lines of the National Socialist German Workers' Party – the NAZI party. History tells us the NAZI party was formed by a group of disparate people who combined to take advantage of the deep social discontent arising out of a dysfunctional Government.

The NAZI party was clandestinely supported by vested business interest and the ruling party itself as it wanted to curtail the rise of rival political formations. Initially, the Nazi political strategy focused on anti-big business, anti-bourgeois and anti-capitalist rhetoric to gain mass acceptance.

This striking resemblance to the AAP strategy is almost déjà vu. The AAP was formed by a disparate bunch of rabble rousers and self serving people. It core consists of Maoist intellects, separatists, anarchists, professional NGO rabble rousers, militant environmentalists and anti nationalists. In a bid to broad base their credentials the AAP dispensation has recruited some retired industrialist, corporate honchos and bureaucrats.

The Gobbelsian Strategy:

“Repeat a lie a 1000 times and you will believe it is the truth …”

“The masses are gullible, given them a Popsicle and they forget reality …”

The genesis of AAP has been based on one simple statement – “all political parties are corrupt, all politicians are bad”. The only way to change this would be by a complete purge of the current system through the Lokpal.

The Lokpal was marketed as a mythical elixir by the likes of Arvind Kejriwal and was front faced by a likeable, marketable and gullible Anna Hazare. In the Anna, the youth and the middle class saw redemption. The dynasty and the Congress party had ensured that India never got a hero figure. Anna Hazare filled in the vacuum.

Very smart marketing by the Arvind Kejriwal Gang and the sensationalist 24x7 news hungry (read it as TRP hungry) TV media created an unprecedented upsurge of emotions. Lokpal was the solution to all the problems India faced, or so we were told. All politicians are corrupt and the Lokpal will be able to bring them to Talibanisque justice. The mass hysteria was infectious.

The Storm Troopers:

The current AAP rhetoric is anti-big business, anti-bourgeois and anti-capitalist to attract the discontented lower middle class youth. The Nazis used this as a strategy to recruit the youth to form their muscle base.

The Nazi Sturmabteilung (storm troopers) were formed to “maintain order” at Nazi meetings. They later morphed into a large organized terror mob which fought with the opponents of the Nazis in the streets and finally they were used to terrorize the common people and run pogroms against perceived enemies.

The entire AAP strategy is focused on recruiting gullible and discontent youth to form their muscle brigade. The indoctrination of this youth base is relatively easy given the amount of discontent which exists in this social segment.

In the modern Indian context we see a reflection of this brewing in West Bengal where the Trinamool Congress is using a similar strategy to mow down the common man and their political opponents.

The AAP Sturmabteilung has just shown the world a reflection of things to come. Its Law Minister Somnath Bharti (convicted for evidence tampering by the high court) led a late night “street justice” mob against people who did not seem to conform to the local sensibilities. This distasteful and disgraceful episode reminds us of the Nazi Sturmabteilung and the ethnic cleansing pogroms they conducted against people who did not fit into their version of society.

The First Push:

In 1930 Hitler and the Nazi party were asked to form a minority Government in Germany. The politics of Germany was so fragmented that no political party could gain majority. Hitler and the Nazis were rank outsiders and considered as upstarts in the political scene. The established Germany political parties assumed that Hitler and the Nazis would make a complete mess of the Government and at the next elections they would regain control.

By 1933, Hitler and the Nazis had assumed absolute control of Germany. Immediately after coming to power in 1930, Hitler declared a series of very populist measures for the common people. On the side Hitler cut deals with shady industrialists and businessmen. These shadowy industrialists and businessmen were instrumental in pushing for Hitler’s complete takeover of Germany.

The current AAP Government in Delhi is an exact replica of the situation which existed in Germany in 1930. The AAP was propped up with outside support of the dynasty and Congress party to keep out the BJP.

In a backroom deal which was stuck with the AAP, the Congress agreed to support their Government formation on 2-conditions:

1.       Create chaos and garner the maximum footage in the 24x7 TRP hungry news channels. Keep Narendra Modi and the BJP out of the news rooms.

2.       Cut into the vote bank which the BJP was gaining at the expense of the Congress

The Congress wheeler dealer gang of Chidambaram-Patel-Sibal formulated this strategy in keeping with its age old tradition “if you cannot rule, don’t let your opponents rule”.

The Mystery Brigade:

In hushed tones, political pundits and seasoned journalists are beginning to ask a very important question, “Who is funding the AAP?”. Seasoned observers are clearly seeing that the AAP could not just be surviving and growing on public and disclosed donations. The growing hooligan base of the AAP, its street muscle needs to be fed and kept. This cannot just be done with the peanut donations the AAP has gathered so far.

Simple arithmetic tells us that there are unknown sources of funding for the AAP. Who is funding them? What is the agenda of the people who are funding them? The hushed conversations are now veering around to pointed observations that the dynasty and its crony industrialist supporter are managing the AAP in proxy. Even more dangerous is a theory that the funding is coming through the Maoist – Chinese – Gulf – ISI route. Given the background of the AAP core committee members this could very well be true.

History is unforgiving to societies that choose to ignore history. The AAP has all the makings of a dark episode for Indian politics. The solution is staring at our face. It is now up to us to decide our fate.